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Showing posts from May, 2018

Thursday Pensacola Smiley Face

Doctor just came out and said surgery went well, Malinda is fine, clipped the aneurysm that ruptured, removed 70% of accumulated blood. Even said if all goes well she could be released from ICU over the weekend, to step-down unit. We are delighted.

First Daughter

The electronic age is a blessing and a curse, isn't it. Because of it we converse instantly back and forth with Ray in the OR prep area talking to M, back and forth with Joe, Tass & Kristen and others near and far. Post instant updates online. Because of it the age of what Fred Sanford of Sanford & Son called "polite chit chat" is over; we no longer chat and visit with friends and loved ones in any setting, everyone holding a cellphone, staring at it, frown, smile, intense, loose, tippy typing. Linda and I do talk when together, and not via text, email or other tippy type. We have been here two weeks, first with M in ER, SICU, surgery, back to SICU 471, now long enough to establish residency and register to vote. but it is thankfully, infinitely far better than the unspeakable alternative, I testify as parent, father. When her midnight gurney was loaded into the ambulance at GulfCoast PC, double doors closed tightly and sped off siren screaming for Sacred Heart

Thursday Pensacola 1.0

1. "Okay" is a good way to begin this morning. Ok, Malinda was wheeled away to surgery prep at 5:30, Linda and I arrived moments later just as the nurse who took her down came back to the ICU. The nurse said she had a good night. Ray, who spent the night in 471, is designated next of kin and went down with her as hospital requires. Yesterday the neurosurgeon told us it would be "four or five hours, maybe less." So, okay, here we are. As appropriate, I will update via this blog and with link on Facebook. Right now, for those waiting to hear, I'll post this and the FB link, then come back here and muse. 2. Ray came in a few minutes ago, about 6:40. Said "they" will call us when they "start," which will be in about an hour. 3. 0748 am, called from OR to say M went to sleep well and the procedure is underway. Four to five hours. 4. 0957 still in surgery and all is well. T

Wednesday Pensacola 1.1

Update. No problem, pls relax. Malinda was taken down to the OR for prep about 12:15. Upon arriving, apparently an emergency case came in that could not be delayed, and so the surgery team has rescheduled M's surgery for 7:00 tomorrow, Thursday morning.  We'll keep you posted, but no surgery today  T

Wednesday Pensacola 1.0

We are feeling blessed at the morning moment, all of us alive and in this together. Cherish life's moment. Malinda is awake, fooling with her cell phone. She currently is scheduled to be taken to pre-op at 9:30 but the latest word is uncertainty because the neurosurgeon was called to the emergency room last night, was there all night long, and may be so exhausted as to delay M's surgery.  That's where we are right now.  T

Tuesday Pensacola 1.1

Malinda had an exhausting day, with the PT techs having her up and trying to walk, a challenge after twelve days off her feet, and with the ICU nurse trying to acclimate her back to knowing day from night. In the chair all day long when not being pressed to do things, she fell asleep late afternoon, was moved from chair to bed, and when we left the hospital a bit ago (Kristen staying in the room overnight) she was totally zonked out.  We will post updating as things move forward tomorrow. Linda and I had a useful and healthily restful day driving from Pensacola to PC, doing a number of chores, and driving back. Leaving Pensacola at 7:00 this morning, about two hours in PC, we were back in Malinda's room by, I think, 2:30 this afternoon. T

Tuesday Panama City 7H 1.0

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Good morning. We stopped by the hospital before seven o'clock this morning. Malinda still dozing but had an alright overnight. We left Pensacola at seven sharp, arrived PC 718 a few minutes ago, driving via I-10 and US 331, saving an hour by avoiding the Fort Walton Destin Sandestin traffic nightmare. Once done with chores list here, we'll head back to Pensacola. Ray just notified us, Malinda's surgery is set for noon tomorrow, Wednesday, May 30. He said the surgeon said that there's a good chance she'll be out of the hospital and in a rehab center by next Monday, June 4. Linda and I were not there to ask whether that could be here in Panama City. We hope so but are totally submissive to the medical wisdom, expertise and advice we are experiencing at Sacred Heart. All for now. Once done with chores here, including checking M's house for storm damage (I checked and it looks fine), laundry, check mail and pay bills, pick up things we have on the list for 7H

Monday Pensacola 1.1

Not a medical person nor even understanding basic medical information, I have a hard time unless someone explains to me. Something about daily doppler scan as I get it, measures tension in the brain, which is up slightly, enough to watch, against the ongoing risk of stroke. Malinda is doing beautifully, even complaining to the medics about When can I go home? and that sort of thing. The neurosurgeon was away for the long weekend but one doctor, a neurologist, said if all goes well for and with Wednesday's surgery she should be able to move to in house care fairly quickly.  Tending in shifts, Linda & me daytime, Ray and Britany nighttime, we have a room with two beds, and overlap at the hospital but not at the room. L & I are back at Hampton Inn for the evening now. Our intent, tentative, is, check in at the hospital tomorrow Tuesday morning, if all is still well, we may drive to PC to check mail, pay bills, wash clothes, pick up a list of items at 7H, do any storm cleanup

Monday Pensacola 1.0

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Monday Pensacola 1.0 From 7:30 pm, nine welcome hours sleep last night here in Hampton Inn just a minute up Airport Road, left on 9th Avenue from Sacred Heart room 471. Room with two queen beds so Ray and Britany can come crash if they want to after we return to the hospital in a couple hours. Memorial Day 2018, sTS Alberto a hundred miles or so off the coast, currently projected into Destin. My notion: if all goes so, we may feel nothing here in Pensacola.   Again on No News Is Good News Blvd, safe to assume all is well with Malinda overnight and this morning or Ray would have texted/phoned. T 

Sunday Pensacola 1.1

Years ago, well it was 1984 or 1985, Brenda, a parishioner who was an education leader in our community, took her daughter, and a couple of other girls from their school, and my Tass, to a dance at a boys' school over the other side of Carrabelle. The several hours they were gone, my anxiety was over the top. Over the top , which is to say I was beside myself, insane with worry about her. Looking back, I know it was ridiculous, but it's my nature and I'm not proud of it. There are lots more stories of my insanity, about all my girls that I won't tell now, another time. When they arrived home that evening and I saw her getting out of Brenda's car, my relief was overwhelming. To which Brenda said to Linda, "Tom loves too much."  Watching me over the years, Linda has converted that to "Tom loves too hard." I think because the intensity of it is so hard on me. At this moment, Sunday evening at Hampton Inn, Tass and family are safely back home in Ta

Sunday Pensacola 1.0 Uncertain

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Each may be different, but the corridor walls here on our 471 floor are hung with enlarged, framed photographs by Ramona Williams. Of course I don't know that she meant it so, but each one is theological and with contemplative power. The picture above is right for anyone whose life at the moment needs quietly to sit alone mindful of eternity. This seems especially right for Trinity Sunday, when we who sometimes occupy pulpits incompetently try to explain an ineffable and incomprehensible doctrine (see the Quicunque Vult , BCP page 864) to congregations of patient and forbearing souls who trust that we know more than we do. Moving as yet by faith, we don't know a damn thing. The early fathers of the church settled orthodox Christian doctrine by ballot, certainty, raw force, faith and political power in 4th century councils, and we are subscribed to what they agreed we must believe, much of its essence, as Friedrich Schleiermacher said, beyond human knowing (e.g., read Jes

Saturday Pensacola 1.1

Saturday Pensacola 1.1 Malinda may be quite tired, gave us a terrible fright late this afternoon. Chatting with us she had a bit of fever and while the nurse went for pills, M fell almost instantly asleep. For the first time, the nurse could not waken her to take pills and water, she could not be roused and seemed to fall totally unconscious and unresponsive. The ICU physician was summoned and we feared that M had suffered a stroke or that the second aneurysm had ruptured, and Malinda was whisked away for CTScan of the brain while we all thought the worst, an extremely tense time.  As it happened, Malinda woke upon arriving back in her room from the brain scan, and became alert and conversant again. About half-past-nine this evening, the ICU physician, the new one for the evening shift, came in and told us nothing had happened, that she conceivably was very tired from the day, including maybe too much activity with loved ones coming and going and talking.  At any event, the day w

Pensacola Saturday 1.0

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Pensacola Saturday 1.0 At 2:30 yesterday afternoon as we were walking down a hospital corridor looking for the Wendy's store for lunch, the cafeteria being closed, we glanced up with surprise to see a familiar face. I said to Linda, "We have a boy just like that." Joe drove down from Winston-Salem, NC and had just arrived. Joe brings gifts, brought his sister a teddy bear. When we left the hospital late last evening, Malinda was asleep clutching the bear, Ray and Joe still in 471, Ray to spend the night. We don't want Malinda opening her eyes and not seeing one of us, a close family member. She is doing remarkably well. Eyes not quite right yet, don't follow precisely, doctor says because of the pressure but will resolve as blood continues to dissipate from her head. Proper motion all arms and legs, hands and feet, fingers and toes. Good speech, vocabulary, observation and reasoning conversation. I am astonished, because I've come into the modern ag

shall be well

Friday Pensacola 1.0 Here in CVICU471 of SacredHeart, where God's angels work, Malinda is napping, was awake early and sitting up in the recliner chair, breakfast of scrambled eggs, grits, ...  Linda is in the waiting area chatting with a friend, I think Pat. Ray was here overnight, arrived from PC a bit later than expected due to car problem on I-10 on the way back, but all is well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.  Chatting with me yesterday, Malinda remembered exactly when the aneurysm ruptured, because she recalled the sudden extreme intense pain in the back of her head. Remembered the time, between seven and eight o'clock last Thursday evening, significantly longer that the hemorrhaging went on than the Friday afternoon that we had thought. We have passed that new information on to the doctors in case it's significant to the neurosurgeon's understanding symptoms, greater swelling and amount of accumulated blood in and around the br

Thursday Pensacola 1.1

Thursday Pensacola 1.1 Malinda’s neurosurgeon and her nurse practitioner just left the room. The neurosurgeon seems most pleased with M’s progress and condition. She said that because there is still much accumulated blood in on and around the brain and pressuring, that she has decided to wait an additional day and do the clip (this is the through the skull procedure) on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. This is for added safety, and will allow that much more time for the blood to continue dissipating. She said that at this time she expects M to be able to leave the hospital for home a few days after the surgery, in good shape, needing neither physical therapy nor special medication.  This from the desolating edge of death to promise and hope. Our watchword for this adventure, given to us by the ER physician at GulfCoastPC, is “God moves in mysterious ways.” A few minutes ago the hospital chaplain (she is UMC) was in for a visit. I told her “God is good,” and she responded with the ri

Pentecost 2018

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Unedited Pentecost sermon that would have been given at Trinity, Apalachicola on Sunday, May 20, 2018 had I been there.  Ye shall receive power, after the Holy Spirit is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me in Jerusalem, and in all Judæa, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.. You may be seated. “You shall be witnesses unto me,” and sure enough, here we are, witnesses for Jesus! Though I forget details, I recall a Sunday here twenty-five or thirty years ago, we had a church growth planning session. Maybe with the vestry, or small groups, or a group of interested folks, I’m not sure - - we were using guidelines from the bishop, and the word “witness” was in the package. One of you, I do not remember who it was (well, yes I do remember but never mind), one of you objected strongly, strenuously to the word “witness” in what we were discussing, planning and preparing, saying it made him/her uncomfortable, squirmy, too touchy-feely, conj

Thursday Pensacola 1.0

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Up early enough to blog not an update except re: myself. Waking, we are in the motel room, sitting up in bed, sipped a cup of brewed coffee, now a second cup but Maxwell House instant stirred into hot water then filled with warm tap, and munching exceptionally tasty breakfast of chicken salad in croissant.  Assuming all is well overnight as no word from hospital this morning. We are going in early because Ray & Britany are driving to PC, Ray to get Lillie at school I think, returning late tonight.  Me. Without going unnecessarily into detail, this event of extreme family crisis has taught, is teaching, me about myself. That I have graduated from paterfamilias, which I held as Commander Safety and other busy bossiness the quarter-century from my father’s death in July 1993 through May 2018; early in this event losing my confidence in my judgment and seeing the judgment of the next two generations fully competent to be trusted to see and do the right thing. T&R, I vol

Wednesday Pensacola 1.1

Wednesday Pensacola 1.1 There is an American tradition that family members who have grown up, moved away and grown apart over the years and decades only get back together for weddings, critical hospital visits, and funerals; and I’ve found that to be so in my own extended family, all the more so as years go by. We cousins who were so close all our growing up years and learned to skate together don’t recognize each other with our stoop-over postures, paunches, gray, white and bald pates; and frankly we can be a shock to each other.  But blood and old memories are thick and show up in time of catastrophic need. It is being so this week in Pensacola. Beloved cousins came through. Early this morning Linda and I headed for Panama City to top off on medicines, fresh socks and underwear and to move a cancelled birthday party weekend’s barbecue ribs and other things from refrigerator to freezer. Couple quarts milk and a few other chilled things. But clean shirts, pants, sweater that we for

Wednesday Panama City 1.0

Good morning. This morning we left the motel very early, went by hospital to see Malinda, then headed home to 7H for an hour or so for essential tasks. Getting 16 (holy jumping jiminy cricket, are you sure you want to live into your eighties?!) bottles of prescription meds between us that we'd run out of, moving fresh food to freezer as necessary, while here picking up a few things such as hearing aid domes and various items that, in last Friday evening's total panic with 911 ER and chasing ambulance to Pensacola, we neglected to bring. Also, Linda is running a washer and dryer load, then we will head directly back to SacredHeart ICU471 Pensacola.  Kristen returned to Pensacola from PC last evening and spent the night in the room with her mom, and Ray & Britany got to sleep.  When we stopped in 471, Malinda was awake and alert, conversing in full sentences, and told Linda she is hungry. Ray just texted me that they have M in the reclining chair and that they are putti

Tuesday Pensacola 1.1

Late morning, minimally edited, this repeats a family update sent earlier by email. Neurosurgeon's nurse practitioner came in twice this morning, then the neurosurgeon came about half hour later. They both did all the movement tests, arms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, toes, and ability of eyes to follow. Mostly ok. Dr said Malinda continues at "extremely high risk of stroke" although physical improvement continues.  As the nurse practitioner said, things can change, especially downhill, in an instant.  Regarding the second procedure. For those who don't know, the indovascular aneurysm coil that was inserted last Saturday was an emergency procedure to stop the bleeding. The neurosurgeon is cautiously waiting for blood to continue receding from the brain to help make the next procedure less risky. But said she will do the second procedure next Tuesday.  At the moment, Linda is standing by the bed having full conversation with Malinda, who is awake and completely

Tuesday Pensacola 1.0

Tuesday Pensacola 1.0 Cute pictures of Lillie on FB this morning, I know that Ray will show Malinda. Yesterday she smiled at hearing Lillie's voice via iPhone.  Right now we are down to one car: Yesterday, Britany left for PC, Tass left for Tallahassee, Kristen left for PC, all arrived safely, some are coming right back, some later in the week, but currently just Ray, Linda and me here. Ray at hospital with Malinda. Malinda sleeping long and waking for moments, we didn't want her to wake up in her room without one of us there with her, therefore last evening before Kristen had to leave, she stayed in the room with her mom while Ray drove us to the motel and went right back to the hospital so Kristen could leave before dark.  Last evening Ray texted that Malinda had said to him, "shut off the lights, please," a very good sign indeed after horrifying aneurysm event, and later last evening Ray texted and Carol posted, that Malinda asked for, and was sipping, ginge

Monday Pensacola 1.2

We were greatly pleased with Malinda's progress today and pray that it will continue. Though sleepy and sleeping most of the time, she had moments of being awake and fairly alert. Knew each of us. Good movement of limbs, hands and fingers, feet and toes. Good eye focus. Could get out "Dad" and the rest of us almost undertone but nevertheless. All vitals good today. About midday she was moved to a recliner chair and was still there at 4:30 pm, but was to be moved back to her bed by five o'clock. Late in the day she answered correctly when her nurse asked her name and date of birth. Tomorrow her medical doctor will want to see her swallow and hear her answer some questions. We are still day to day and not out of the woods. Major surgery is ahead, open Malinda's skull to clip the aneurysm that burst and that Saturday morning could only be quickly repaired without unacceptably deadly risk. More surgery two or three months from now, assuming. Her surgeon has done two

Monday Pensacola 1.1

Okay. The neurosurgeon just visited. She is pleased with Malinda’s progress. She said she will do the second procedure, "clipping," on the ruptured aneurysm this week or next, "probably this week." She said that after the second procedure Malinda will have to be in the ICU two weeks.  She said that, while the survival chance was 50% on the intravenous (my word) "coiling" procedure that was done Saturday, based on how Malinda is doing and improving, she might raise the survival prospect on the second procedure from the 80% she gave us Saturday to 90% chance of surviving the second procedure, but “we don’t ever want to underestimate the continuing seriousness of the situation,” which continues as "day to day." Instead of through veins, will likely be surgical, going into the skull this time to do a clip procedure on the aneurysm to fix it completely. Overall, she seemed happy with how things are going. While we were downstairs, Malinda was mo

Monday, Pensacola

Monday morning, May 21, 2018 Pensacola Kristen spent the night in her mother's room in the Surgical ICU. The report from her is that Malinda is responding to commands and even said a few words. Of course this is good news, for which we are thankful. And perhaps indicates that she will go better prepared, in better physical condition, into the second procedure (permanently to seal the aneurysm that ruptured, which at this point is only temporarily sealed, to stop bleeding). Maybe we will know more this morning what, and what schedule, the surgeon has in mind. At the moment, I am thinking of what the ER physician at Gulf Coast hospital told us Friday night. He had arranged for Malinda to be flown to Shands, Gainesville by helicopter. That fell through because of severe weather. Then he arranged for her to be flown here to Sacred Heart by helicopter; that also was cancelled because of severe weather, so he set up the ambulance transport, which worked beautifully. As the change we

create

Keep moving, folks, nothing to see here.  Nothing to read or hear, move along, please. Sitting, 4th floor waiting area by Elevator E just outside Surgical ICU at Sacred Heart Hospital, Pensacola. Sometime Friday, first child and oldest daughter Malinda suffered a ruptured cerebral aneurysm at home, found comatose early evening, 911, taken to ER, diagnosed and transferred to Sacred Heart, leaving Panama City by midnight ambulance as skies were too stormy for helicopter. Upon arrival, immediate examination, tests and diagnosis. Critical. Neurological surgical procedure Saturday morning by a highly skilled neurosurgical team, survived 50/50 odds. Overnight scans and X-ray. Ray slept in room. Sunday morning bit of improvement, more scans, testing for eyes, awareness, movement, for ability to self-breathe if taken off ventilator. Prognosis: hopeful though strictly day to day. Repaired ruptured aneurysm requires yet another procedure before done. Ahead: weeks of day to day. Then a s

Paul in Rome. Us in Pensacola.

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As we finish reading Acts, this is the last day of TGBC readings and, for anyone who loves the sea, may be the most exciting part of Paul's adventures according to Luke. Note in the narrative, Luke's use of the first person plural "we," which many take to indicate that Luke the author of Acts and of the Gospel according to Luke, whoever he may have been, for he is anonymous, he did not sign his books, and we do not know who he was, was himself along with Paul on part of this fourth journey. Decide for yourself, your opinion is as valid as any scholar's! Do not let it bother you if/when Luke's stories about Paul do not match up with Paul's own accounts as found in his letters. Just enjoy! What finally happened to Paul? Tradition says he was martyred at the behest of Nero about the year 63 AD.  Acts 27:13-28:44 The Storm at Sea  When a moderate south wind began to blow, they thought they could achieve their purpose; so they weighed anchor and b

to Rome

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Acts 27:1-12 Paul Sails for Rome as a Prisoner When it was decided that we were to sail for Italy, they transferred Paul and some other prisoners to a centurion of the Augustan Cohort, named Julius. Embarking on a ship of Adramyttium that was about to set sail to the ports along the coast of Asia, we put to sea, accompanied by Aristarchus, a Macedonian from Thessalonica. The next day we put in at Sidon; and Julius treated Paul kindly, and allowed him to go to his friends to be cared for. Putting out to sea from there, we sailed under the lee of Cyprus, because the winds were against us. After we had sailed across the sea that is off Cilicia and Pamphylia, we came to Myra in Lycia. There the centurion found an Alexandrian ship bound for Italy and put us on board. We sailed slowly for a number of days and arrived with difficulty off Cnidus, and as the wind was against us, we sailed under the lee of Crete off Salmone. Sailing past it with difficulty, we came to a place called Fair