A Stubborn Man

Homily at the Memorial Service for Weldon Faull

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

St. Thomas by the Sea Episcopal Church

Laguna Beach, Florida 

Jesus said, “A new commandment I give you, that you love one another. As I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, that you show love toward one another.”

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The Bible word for “love” is Agape. AGAPE. Agape is not warm fuzzy feelings. In fact, agape is not feelings at all. Agape is kindness. Kindness, welcoming, thoughtfulness, consideration, generosity, courtesy, gracious hospitality. Lovingkindness.

Weldon was the most reserved man I have ever known. He loved his children and grandchildren dearly. I know because he told me so; but he grew up in a home where there was no outward show of emotion: feelings were contained. 

His sister died when they were young children, and recalling the anguish of it nearly seventy-five years on, Weldon told me it was the hardest thing that ever happened to him, a sadness that never completely went away. He grew up afraid to show his love. 

But he loved his children dearly, taught them to be self sufficient. Taught them to sail. Taught them to ride motorcycles. Taught them about being faithful in church. Taught them to be responsible human beings, and he was proud that they were and are. 

The evening before his knee surgery, I visited Weldon in hospital, and he talked on and on and on about raising his children in Michigan, boating on the lake, what a good life he had growing up with them. We may wish Weldon could have been more open about loving, but that was not his way. Our tough, stubborn Weldon was too shy about the risks of showing love.      

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Here in Florida we know Weldon as the Lemon Man: he brought the biggest lemons ever known to man, the size of grapefruit. And Margaret brought the best lemon pies ever tasted. 

Weldon could have an explosive temper. He could be a tough customer. Stubborn, independent, driven to a perfection that he demanded of himself, hard working, generous and unselfish. During the Cold War, he flew in the stratosphere high above the Soviet Union. In the Church, Weldon served the chalice of the Blood of Christ. Always wearing an enormous smile, he carefully and lovingly taught children to acolyte. On parish vestries for years, he enjoyed being Warden in charge of buildings and property. In fact, he always liked being in charge, whether it was cooking pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, or buying church supplies, or trimming the shrubs.

One Sunday morning when we had a very large crowd, I called someone up out of the congregation to help serve Holy Communion. They were in regular street clothes, of course. Afterward, Weldon chided me sharply that anyone serving the Sacrament must be properly vested in a robe, and not to let that happen again. Rubrics and canons of the Episcopal Church say the priest is in charge, but It was not always easy to stay in charge with Weldon around, he liked to be The Man.

As well as the Church and seeing that Margaret was comfortable, Weldon’s passion was everything about the Coast Guard and Coast Guard Auxiliary. He was demanding, exacting, meticulous and not always easy to please. And he was dedicated: after one hurricane that I remember, Weldon was the first boat out clearing debris from the inland waterway and he worked it for days on end. Of his years with the Coast Guard, I have seen Weldon in tears telling about people lost and people rescued on his watch. He was not as tough as he wanted to seem. 

Five or six years ago Weldon came to the parish office to discuss his funeral with me. He had planned every detail, every song, every prayer, every passage of Scripture. That’s what you’re getting this morning. If you don’t know the hymns, neither do I. Even the Holy Communion: he loved the ancient sound of a Eucharistic Prayer seldom read in the church, so we will hear that this morning. 

Weldon could do anything. If there was a problem early on Sunday morning, wait a minute, Weldon should be here any second. If the pulpit mike was not working, Weldon turned this pulpit upside down, found the problem, and fixed it. If the loudspeaker system wouldn’t work, where is Weldon, he knows what to do. If the organ wouldn’t come on, get Weldon: he found the problem and corrected it. Before the church lawn ever needed attention, Weldon was out on the ride-on lawnmower. And in fact, driving up this morning it was clear that Weldon already is missed, because the grass already needs cutting.

Something of a perfectionist with himself and others, he was not always the easiest man to work with, but he was usually the best man for the job, because he got it done, and he did it his way, and if he did not need or want your help he said so.

I don’t know how the Coast Guard or the Church will get along without him. We wish he had not been up on that ladder, working by himself, but Weldon made up his own mind about everything, and there was no stopping him.

He was a stubborn, demanding and heroic man who cannot be replaced.

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