Honorary Rary

Congressional Citation

Students in an MBA curriculum at the University of Michigan fifty years ago were required to take at least one course in Government. Professor D. Maynard Phelps (1897-1993), was much renowned, had served with the State Department during WWII, later on various commissions for German reparations, was a professor at UM for forty years, the biblical very long time. His papers now are filed at the Harry S. Truman Library and Museum. Dr. Phelps was character, scholar, sage. He professed by lecturing in a packed auditorium. The only lecture hall more overflowing in my college years was when Robert Frost visited the University of Florida each year, or it may have been twice a year, stopping off during his travel between New England and his winter residence in Florida, to read and discuss his poems: not even standing room inside, rapt crowds attending loudspeakers outside. 

Professor Phelps’ annual Pearl Harbor Day Lecture in December, “How Different It Will All Be Tomorrow,” overflowed the auditorium, but other days were as fascinating. In a lecture about the legislative branch one morning, he asserted, in my hearing, that the sole roles of Congress during wartime are to fund the war and harass the President. In a half-century watching since that morning, I have seen that borne out literally and unfailingly by an institution of tall, fat, short and skinny, self-important little men. 

Imagine being cited for Contempt of Congress. Not so high an honor as the Gold Medal, but it’s got to be way up there with such recognition. There’s no doubt in my mind that I myself qualify for it, but then, I don’t have the Attorney General’s visibility.

Congress has been commended for the superlative distinction of being the most contemptible institution in America. Still, we don’t need term limits for Members of Congress, but we do need a constitutional amendment honoring them: Any eligible person may be elected to and serve out one term in Congress and then go home empty-handed. Any eligible person may be elected to and serve out a second term in Congress; but the day after completing the second term, is to be awarded a Joint Congressional & Presidential Letter of Commendation and Appointment as an Honorary Rary, chauffeur-driven to Andrews AFB in a limousine, fitted with a solid gold parachute, escorted into a military airlift plane, flown out high over the Atlantic Ocean, and, as the cargo door opens, tipped through the clouds into the sea as a military honor guard of all five services stands at attention and a bugler plays “It’s a long way to Tipperary.”

It would rank among the nation’s highest honors.

T