Puzzle the Ass

DPRK 107

USA 98

This is a crazy house, we live in an insane asylum. It must’ve always been so and we didn’t notice, too busy bristling. In the Cold War arms race we built stockpiles of nuclear weapons to annihilate the Soviet Union or Red China when they attacked. MAD. Did anyone ever notice the children in pictures of the enemy? We would have destroyed the world in order to save it, where have we heard that. Shades of My Lai. 

Didn’t anyone ever notice the smiling, happy children in a Russian crowd? Or Chinese, or Iranian, or Vietnamese, or Korean, or Afghan? Or American? Iraqi. Israeli? Children.

Bibi rattling sabers and whining for Big Brother.

Nuclear holocaust, nuclear winter, and in Postapocalypticana a colony of mutants shake fists at history, mate with Cylons, and wonder what the hell we ancients were thinking. Bomb children? Little children are enemies of who? Whom. 

Not the Third Reich or Pol Pot; My Lai and the Kent State Massacre proved indisputably and irrevocably to all but fools that all government is all ways all bad. People aren’t the enemy. Government. All.

Which is why the Second Amendment.

North Korea says if the annual joint military exercise isn’t cancelled, the 1953 ceasefire and armistice is off, the Korean war is back on, and a preemptive nuclear strike against the United States ... . Is DPRK insane? Yep. We can be quietly ready without snickering, but it’s government against government not children against children nor people against people. Governments are pompous, strutting asses. Jacks not Jennies. All males should be excluded from all government throughout the world for all time. Grandmothers rule. 

Although Golda Meir could be right peppery.

Like NKorea with their very own self-adoring Baby Doc, Iran with their bewhiskered preacher needs a nuclear weapon like Jerry Falwell needs a Bible, but if Israel, then Iran too. Unless insanity rules, which it does in Jerusalem, Pyongyang, Tehran, Washington and Damascus, the purpose of a nuclear weapon, as the Cold War proved, is not to drop but to posture. It needn’t be armed, doesn’t even have to be real. A wooden bomb. Or plastic. A plaster bomb, call a press conference, distribute pictures of it, everybody feigns alarm, pretends to feel threatened, threatens back, standoff ensues, standoff, stalemate, check but not checkmate, and no worries.

Demolish capitols and erect gymnasiums. Basketball teams dribble where armies marched. Basketball tournaments instead of naval exercises and war games. 

The Last Battle. Shift the Ape sews Puzzle the Ass into a lion skin, calls him Aslan, everyone pays obeisance, The Sexiest Man Alive plays point guard in the semifinals: Pyongyang v WhiteHouse, we throw the game a respectable 98 to 107; 

and MAD is a strategy not a mood.

Anon