glass darkly

Glass Darkly

Driving away from the church office one pleasant summer afternoon some months ago, I honored the Stop sign at the intersection of 3rd Street and Bonita Avenue. Intending a left turn onto Bonita, I found myself unintentionally but nevertheless almost a foot into the left lane, but no matter, as there was no traffic, so I didn't back up. As I paused momentarily, however, a beat up red Ford Crown Victoria rolled up to the intersection from my right and turned left in front of me, into the 3rd Street lane that I was slightly violating. The driver of the Ford, a rough-looking man perhaps in his thirties and whose personal elegance suited that of his car, glared, shook his fist and swore viciously at me, a rage of obscenities that I could hear, because both our driver windows were open. 

It was an unsettling experience of personal violation. Emotional assault, rape of sorts.

An elderly white-haired man, I probably looked to him, nearly two generations younger, like an incompetent old fool who shouldn’t be driving at all. And may indeed be exactly that. My recent stumble, fall, and bloody ride to the ER by ambulance made me think -- again -- ? -- about myself. 

My stitches are out, the external ones, nose and chin are grown back onto the face. Hopefully, stitches inside my lips and mouth will soon disappear, dissolve is the word. Before going to the parish office to lead our Bible Seminar this morning, I am starting, resuming actually, a phase of cardiac rehab that I hope will help me build back up at least to the physical condition and mental alertness that I felt three years ago after my heart surgery and vigorous recovery. If I am called to live into ancient age, at least I should do so responsibly and ably, eh, make it enjoyable for self and less worrisome for others. Except for holidays, the exercise regimen will be Tuesday and Friday mornings, conveniently at the BayMed complex a couple blocks from the church. So, I’m addressing myself.

The driver of the red Ford made me mindful yet one more time again, that no two of us see things or other people exactly the same. He saw an idiot, a fool. I saw an unintended innocent stray into his territory, for which I would have backed up or apologized, and mindless road-rage hiding in anonymity. Who was that strange person? Would he have reacted so had I been his grandfather? Who was correct? Or was there objectivity at all? 

There was in fact not an impartial point of view on the scene. And it’s the way life is, all of it. I myself sometimes drive that trashy red Ford Crown Vic -- as do some of the people whom I like and respect the most in life, people on both sides of the American political span, and on all points of the Christian religious spectrum and outside it. I have my views, many through a glass darkly, which are products of who and what I am, the result of who, what and where I have been these eight decades.

Indeed yes, I am opinionated, have my own moral outrages and outrageous moralities. My own rear view mirror and shaking fist ... 

... National news media leading, inciting, a lynch mob mentality to try, condemn and execute the Ferguson police officer and doing the same with the grand jury that is deliberating his case. HuffPost is especially guilty, so much so that they have earned my utter contempt with their goading catch phrases. ... 

... Mindless stirring up talk of impeaching the president for this or that, currently Immigration: "is he heading into an impeachable offense?" CSM stirring, inciting if for no other reason than that they earn their being by reporting news, so stir up more hatred to attract more readers. Impeachable offense? The fact is, whatever the House of Representatives votes to impeach is impeachable. For God’s sake, we don’t need another national frenzy of political hatred, there are real problems in the world, let the man serve out his term and be gone. ... 

... Affordable Health Care: standing outside watching as no expert on anything, least of all medical care and its administration, I wonder what is to defend about a society that outlaws abortion and condemns contraception yet does not want to provide medical care for its human produce: the children of the poor. ... 

... Same-Sex cohabiting and marriage: in that it’s none of my business, I wonder how it could possibly be any of your business unless you are in the closet hoping to throw attention elsewhere. ... 

... ISIS the 21 century moral equivalent of Nazis, Stalin and Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge. My military mind road rage response to their beheading Americans is to brush aside morality, history and reason and start pushing red buttons, whumps in the darkness and flashes of light over the horizon, until that part of the earth is a radioactive wasteland uninhabitable for a thousand years, and let the future be judge in a sequel to The Road which no one is left alive to write, much less read, and thank you very much Noah. ... 

... Kim Jong-un? send him an owl with an explosive howler. Or show his handsome face to a drone operator ... 

... Four killed in terrorist attack on West Jerusalem synagogue, Palestinians are fast easing themselves out of my sympathy. ... 

And this is a priest? No, just another human. How to take me? For one, when I run for president, I'm voting for the other candidate.

How much more deeply can humans hate, when neighbor is hated even more than enemy, is the rhetorical question.

And what is God’s future for us? Are we already deep into it? Perennial apocalyptic or Alas, Babylon? I don’t like what I see. In the mirror. Rear view. Driving this red Ford. 

W