Lent: Luke & Forgiveness

In the beginning … God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep, and the Spirit of God moved over churning chaos; and God SAID, “Let there be light,” and there was light; and God saw the light, that it was good. And all that God SAID, it was so. And, behold, God saw that it was very good. 

Not perfect. Good. Very good. 

Very good indeed, but not perfect.

This week a bitterness was stirred in my mind that tries never to go there. For a year or two I visited a grave faithfully most every week, couple minutes. Just a few times a year now, maybe once a month, and instead of getting out to “visit,” I may drive to the end of the road, make a U-turn, brake the car and stop, the gravestone is right by the roadside, I pause, roll down the car window, read the gravestone to make sure it’s still outrageously true even after these years, say “hello, Bill” in my mind. Let my foot off the brake and slowly ease on down the road, out the gate, and back into life, creation.

My stirring this week was reading the NYT obituary of Joseph Polchinski, 63, physicist and cosmologist. He, like my friend, died of brain cancer, which was the stirring connection, the enraging imperfection of God’s creation. A scholar and a man of many talents, my friend Bill was incredibly talented, intelligent, generous, wise, loving and kind. Joseph Polchinski explored and theorized about our universe of some 200 billion galaxies (do you have any idea how wide our own tiny galaxy is? our little MilkyWay galaxy is only a hundred thousand light years across, in God’s creation). Polchinski was into boundless, theoretical, incomprehensible but scientifically demonstrable ten-to-the-500th power - - other universes, Other Universes the multiverse, in the vast imagination of our God, who is not too small - - 

God who, through his eternally begotten Son, loves you, loves even me, us. This bread, this little wafer with the Lamb imprinted, means Jesus Loves You and as you eat the Bread, Jesus becomes part of you, and you him. Behold the Lamb of God: ten-to-the-500th power universes in creation, and here in our one immense universe, in our small galaxy, our little solar system, earth that is but a speck of dust in God’s mind, Jesus loves you, loves you. The only begotten Son came here for one reason and one reason only: because God loves even you and me. 

And yet whose creation, specifically whose EARTH, is not perfect - - good, very good, but far from perfect. In a perfect creation, my friend Bill, or a brilliant scientist like Joseph, or your loved one, would not have died so. Psalm 116, Today’s English Bible, “How painful it is to the Lord when one of his people dies,” thank God; but “be ye perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect,” taking nothing from the heavenly Father, perfect human life is impossible in His imperfect creation.

As we go into Lent, heralded by spectacular fireworks of Elijah carried away into heaven in a chariot of fire drawn by horses of fire, and Christianity’s Grand Epiphany, Jesus on the mountaintop with Moses for the Law and Elijah for the Prophets, a cloud and a voice from heaven, “This is my beloved Son, Listen to Him,” follow him, perfect, sinless before Satan and the world, follow him in the Way of the Cross, becoming Jesus as you follow. You will never become Jesus, but your role as disciple is in the “Becoming.” This “Becoming Jesus” mandate of your Baptism is my one and only proclamation to you, for you, as long as I’m allowed pulpit time. 

But now this, as with Peter, James and John we go back down the mountain into Lent. Lent is time both for giving up, and for taking on, doing. My clinging bitterness, anger at God over the death of Bill, and now the senseless death of Joe Polchinski, and looking back all those years to my - - at-the-time-fragile faith and highly doubtful question, “Can the faith of Tom Weller survive the death of William Hall?” (William who died senselessly at age seven the summer after his second-grade year at Holy Nativity Episcopal School, nearly two decades ago) - the question stirs again to life, and my anger seeps out again for the injustice and imperfection of what God has created, the stony silence from heaven in answer to my fervent prayers - - and in the hospital ICU, my promise whispered over and over again in a little boy’s ear: "Jesus loves you, William." 

God’s creation. “IF, THEN” - - IF the hymn has it right, “All good gifts around us are sent from heaven above,” THEN heaven also has to take the rap for the Creator’s mistakes and oversights that leave us such anguish, pain and grief. 

My “taking on,” my “doing” this Lent is about The Good Book Club, which started this morning - - together as a church, diocese, parish and each member, we walk through the Gospel according to Luke, I’m doing that with you, and I hope you will join in, because I mean for it to be as much fun as our Adult Sunday School class always is. That’s my “taking on,” my “doing” for Lent with you.

On the dark side, deeply personal, my giving up for Lent is ignited like the flaming horses and fiery chariot of Elijah, by Polchinski’s obituary that I began with just now: my ongoing bitterness, anger with God for the imperfections of creation. I am not - - talking about our growing old and “wearing out,” but that the best and most beloved of us can die so absurdly. That a-dam-mah, we earthlings, created in the divine image by Word or from dirt, can die of the crouching insidious. That we hate and kill each other self-righteously, vengefully, cruelly. God help us, What a divine “image.” “In the beginning - - - ” Cane so hating his brother as to invite him out for a stroll in the field together, and Cane leaving by himself, alone, Abel’s blood soaking the ground. Israelites wiping out Canaanite populations, and (Achen at Ai) punishing each other with unspeakable cruelty, our godly heritage (if you don’t understand, join EfM or read Joshua this Lent). My Lenten task is forgiveness. Of all that. Forgiving my Creator for evil that lurks in the nature of creation, unjustifiable suffering, pain, death, grief. For the evil that, in God’s Name, we earthlings do to each other. So, forgiveness; but also healing, my own healing: somehow to let go of anger, my lingering bitterness, and the strain-unto-breaking of my often-shattered faith, stirred by outrages that would never have been in a perfect creation. William Hall. Bill Lloyd. Joe Polchinski. You have your own - - names, list.

Will my forgiving God comfort God this Lent? I do not know whether God will be blessed by my forgiveness. My knowledge of God is not that great, so I know not. Our ordinary is confession, counseling, penance, then absolution, but unless the extraordinary happens, this will all be One Way: I will be blessed. The blessing of forgiving others, including forgiving the Holy Other, and especially One Way, brings peace. Peace: I’ll be going for that this Lent. I’m sharing this from the secrets of my mind and the depth of my heart in case you also need to forgive even if it’s only “One Way.”

Almighty God unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hid - - - CLEANSE. Cleanse.

This Bread means Jesus loves you.

Sermon, HNEC PC, FL. Last Epiphany Sunday, Feb 11, 2018. The Rev. Tom Weller

BigBang art pinched online with apologies.