pondering, just thinking

Generally, posts that get drafted out of Time, which is to say the day before, or even earlier such as way ahead to have a post in reserve in case I don't want to write, never get the "Publish" button pressed, rather they are soon or eventually deleted. Although my blogger page shows 49 "Drafts" including two from last week that were published then shortly withdrawn, "revert to draft" is the Blogger terminology. 

It is also possible to delete posts, and in nine years this month of writing and posting, I've deleted two or three after second thoughts. Why? nearly always because I mean +Time never to be a political blog, and in anger or disgust I said something that could offend, which also is never my intent. So, do you think we'll have rain? 

Anyway, it's 9:08 Monday evening and I'm sitting out here on 7H porch. Temperature is 75F and 85% humidity. Forecast for later this week is Friday low 48, Saturday low 47, Sunday low 49 before warm weather returns. Quiet, or there may be sounds, but my hearing aids are out for the night and all I hear besides the perpetual tinnitus is a rumbling sound like a ship approaching, but I see nothing moving out there. 

Unlike my three no four porches at the Old Place, including three screen porches, and this porch is not screened, there are no bugs up here at level seven. No mosquitos. No flies. No gnats. Condos at level 2, which is garden green level at the front door and second story on the Bay side, may have insects, but up here we do not. 

The airport rotating beacon is out, that light atop the water tower at Tyndall AFB across the way is out. I've not seen it since the hurricane. And've seen no nighttime flying either since the hurricane. Also have not seen ships arriving and departing port, but it could be that they slip by east and west unnoticed because of the scaffolding..

Been meaning to post - - my phone receives so many scam calls that, if I don't recognize the caller, I do not answer. So if anyone calls and I don't answer that's the reason, don't be offended. Or because on Sunday mornings, and Wednesday evenings, I turn off the ringer and don't often remember to turn it back on until Tuesday, or Friday. Before the hurricane I had it keyed to ring only calls from numbers on my phone contact list, but changed that because of incoming calls from the insurance company. That's all over now, insurance paid and repairs completed, so I may soon reset it to ring only contact list callers. No matter, folks who really need to get me, urgently or otherwise leave a message for a return call. 

Also, in regard to communicating, people seldom or never hear from me on Facebook because my practice is to post an almost daily link to my blog and cut out, not scrolling down unless my eye spots something from Ross Whitley about the weather. Early years "on" Facebook, I scrolled down and read several times and the results were invariably distressing to body & soul.    

That sound of a ship approaching is HVAC compressors on the roof of the building. Torn and tossed by HMichael and replaced after, they're all new. When we first moved in, end of 2014, I took their persistent low frequency humming sound to be the Gulf surf's roaring sound four plus miles away across the Bay, waves crashing ashore on the far side of Shell "Island". Up here in 7H we seldom or never hear traffic sounds except during Thunder Beach, motorcycles along Beach Drive.

Day's activities. Cleared the Beck side porch of everything in prep for the contractors to begin painting the building; in doing, made my den/study/office more pleasing to me by putting the wrought iron chairs in there in exchange for the parlor chairs that once were in the living room at 518 BCR. Drive across the bridge to Breakfast Point to visit Malinda. Visit to downtown post office on Jenks Avenue, which was more than usually frustrating and annoying that they couldn't find a package that'd arrived for me, then inexplicable senselessness, absurdity and incompetence of change of address policy. Later, checked mail in our box downstairs and yes there was mail, so yes it's true, US Postal Service has resumed delivery of mail to Harbour Village, but for How long, Lord?

Watched several movies on Youtube, Sinking the Tirpitz, a documentary well done. Film entitled Nuremberg about the characters, trials and hangings, that was diminished both by the characterized German defendants speaking clear English with no accent, and that, granting that he apparently adored his wife and daughter, seemed to accord to Hermann Göring a humanity and respect that was way out of order; his arrogant "you have no right to judge me" put him totally outside the human spectrum, notwithstanding his incisive comment to an American that equalized American treatment of blacks with Germany's treatment of Jews; and especially his comment that perceived equal racism in that Americans would treat our Japanese enemies, an Asian race, more viciously and less humanly than we would treat our white European, including German, enemies. Yes, we are the same, born out incontestably at My Lai. Also watched a 1940s era propaganda film situated in Germany during the 19th century Seven Years War. Never got round to my books yesterday.

Sent several emails. Made nine o'clock Tuesday morning appointment to have my car inspected. Cleaned out my email inbox. 

Interesting and helpful, a post from The Daily Sip. He signed up with We Croak to receive a five-times-daily email notice that simply says You're going to die. Has an attached relevant essay or other writing that he sometimes reads, sometimes not. But he says the message has changed his awareness of life from all that it was before to a new appreciation of every present moment.
http://thedailysip.org/2019/10/25/living-life-in-the-present-moment/ . Theologically, an ongoing sense of gratitude to the Creator. Extending the thought, always in my life so far, when I contemplate doing or not doing something that I know I should think long and hard about, and then do just that, I've been glad later that I'd stopped, looked, listened, and thought. Conversely, when I've acted impulsively I often live to regret it. Still and all, left undone those things I ought to have done, and done those things I ought not to have done. And, as the  daily office General Confession used to say, we have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts. We have erred and strayed ... like lost sheep and "there is no health in us, miserable offenders". A problem with our liturgical confessions is that instead of each one of us owning up personally, we escape behind the first person plural.

Late night and sleepy, eyes closing and head nodding out here. Will I go to sleep or will I for hours lie there pondering - -

If I could go back to any age, where might it be? Maybe 16, 17, 21, 36, 40, 48, 57, or 63 before ever it occurred to me that life is short and we haven't much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us; and I would make haste to be more kind and less profane. But right now it's pouring rain, and there's still that roaring sound.

Breakfast: half an avocado and a sandwich of plant butter and TJ's pate on toasted extra thin ww

T