Tuesday afternoon

 

Looking at the online news about the young man who murdered Charlie Kirk, he's so young, 22 years old, could be anybody's beloved grandson. I feel so sad for him, the destiny he has set for himself; and I wonder if he ever asks himself, "How could I have been so stupid!" 

In my Time, I've seen now, I guess, four political assassinations that come to mind, two Kennedy brothers, MLK, and Charlie Kirk. I don't want to live in a society where mad shooters take from the people the opportunity to make our own political choices.

This opening digression because I saw the young man's face again as soon as I opened my computer to contemplate a blogpost.

And news coverage of NATO leaders meeting and frantic to cover what the US is pulling from NATO involvement, as I think again and always of ants fighting and killing the next ant bed as though we were so important on this Earth in a galaxy of trillions. We will kill the Earth in our determination to save it from those who are different from us.

Home from Robert's funeral and hungry because for breakfast I had two bits of pickled herring from Russ & Daughters Deli in NYC, and for lunch two bits of apple/peanut butter along with three bites of chicken and mayonnaise. At the service this afternoon I spoke, along with several other friends, because when we visited him on his 91st birthday, as I was leaving Robert asked me to promise him that I would speak at his funeral, and I promised. Speaking when my nature is to remain silent is better than a lifetime of knowing I'd broken forevermore a promise to someone I cared about.

So, now hungry for a late afternoon snack. Along with a Miller's Lite on ice (it lasts longer and stays cold that way), a half dozen or so bits of herring from my usual, Vita herring from the grocery store cooling shelf, then a very thin whole wheat bread sandwich, lightly toasted, lightly buttered on one side, and thickly layered with TJ's chicken liver pate' - - all very tasty except that eating Russ & Daughters' pickled herring has ruined for all Time my taste for the Vita herring. Already shopping online, and I'm going to order more herring from R & Daughters. What I'm rationing out now bit by bit is better than excellent; they have four or five varieties, and I think I'll try two different ones. 

But, as I say, this is not a food blog. 

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Repeating myself. Being ninety years old is everything I ever hoped it would be, and worse. I'm looking forward to turning ninety-one in a couple of months, hoping it will be much better.

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And a favorite Episcopal prayer that closed our evening campfire services my summers at church camp a lifeTime ago,

O Lord, support us all the day long until the shadows lengthen, and the evening falls, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then, in thy mercy, grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last.

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Baruch ata, Adonai Eloheinu, Melek ha-olam, shehekeyanu ...

T90