OH-EFF-EFF & Shame, Uncle Bee

OH-EFF-EFF USC UCF and Shame, Uncle Bee

Long years ago my parishioner Jack had let his house get so run down it was no longer habitable. From the street, looking into the upstairs windows and up, you saw the sky. Holes in roof, floors rotted through, windows knocked out. I asked, let me come visit. He said, "No. I'm right ashamed of it."

I'm right ashamed of it.

Saturday afternoon, fourth quarter, five minutes to play, or was it three minutes, IDK, score 28-18, safe. Score 28-24, score 28-25, Uncle Bubba rises out of chair in frustration, waving arms, shaking fists, restraint to keep from smashing laptop to floor, blasphemies so vile TG Linda was in the kitchen; sitting back down, realizing UH-OH and rushing upstairs for handfullaaspirin and hot water to dissolve immediately into bloodstream, back downstairs, left family room for a room sans TV, and officially gave up football for all time forever. This is my solemn vow.

Where's my old B&W TV? Where's that brick I keep in here for football? It was a return of olden days not golden days when I stopped watching football altogether forever because when Gators lost it was unbearable. Next I had two teams. Now I have three teams, no four teams. No, five actually. When one of my teams does badly, I'm not a good sport, in fact I'm a bad sport and I'm right ashamed of it.

Didn’t the Soothsayer foretell in his blog post two weeks ago, “Gamecocks, don’t be gamecocky about UCF in Orlando," didn’t he? WELL, DIDN’T HE??? And nevertheless, Saturday afternoon in Turnoverlando, otherwise known as Interception City, the Knights (the WHO?) the Knights, dammit, the UCF Knights of the AAC (the what? the AAC) held South Carolina, the USC Gamecocks of the SEC scoreless 0-10 the first half. Heart attack time. Third quarter and first of the fourth quarter, OK, they're coming back, it's obvious there had been some serious chitchat during halftime in the SC locker room, and SC came back -- 

until UCF made it 28-18 and rising. 

I have watched Coach slam his hat to the ground in the Swamp, but I have never seen him so near the thundering apoplexy that struck The Captain down in Treasure Island, as when he called time out after a fourth quarter penalty. The Knights (the WHO?) the Knights, the UCF KNIGHTS DITH, blasted through to make it 28-24 and 28-25 with plenty of time left to score again if they decided to, at which point Uncle Bubba stormed upstairs for aspirin. Half hour later calm enough to check online and make sure it had closed 28-25, which it had done. USC 28 UCF 25. Get serious. 

TV. Off. OH-EFF-EFF. No football. No Seminoles. No Tide. No TxA&M. No BigBlue. No PennState. And sure as aitch no Gator football. Nov 16: only game of regular season when I have no favorite. Nov 30: glass of wine and a nap, because it's not gonna be pretty.

Last week my celebration was the Aggies are not on the UF schedule this year. My relief this morning is the Gators are not playing the Knights -- whoever heard of the UCF Knights -- who next thing will want an SEC emblem on the field when they play.

Holy Christmas and OH-EFF-EFF spells off.

Maybe instead of the brick I'll get that nitrostat prescription filled.

W 

Gators
BigBlue
Gamecocks
PennState
Whoever is playing the Seminoles