raining on someone

Wishing my brother Walt the happiest birthday ever, and hoping we can slurp oysters together very soon. 

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But most heavy on me this morning is the death of Ryan Yessman in a motorcycle accident this past Friday morning. Living in Winston Salem, NC, Ryan, who would have been, I think, 35, was the son of Ann and Ronnie Yessman, Mary Sittman's nephew, Allison's brother, and the father of two little girls. Ryan attended Holy Nativity Episcopal School from an early age, and graduated with Josh Austin and others in our middle school eighth grade graduating class of 2001. His sister Allison was in my Kristen's class, a longtime best friend. Working with Mary on the school property, and personal involvements with the family as priest and pastor, I have felt very close to everyone in this family for more than twenty years, and sudden grief, sadness, is a terrible beast to struggle with.

There's a petition in our Great Litany,

From dying suddenly and unprepared, Good Lord, deliver us. 

Some folks will express sympathy to me, though that's not why I'm sharing. I remember Ryan as a little boy, I knew him all his years growing up, and his mom kept me up to date on him while he was in the Army. If you teach at Holy Nativity School, as I did, In your heart, the children at the School become your own kids, and the sense of it never goes away. The loss of one brings back others, remembering the crushing, desolating morning nearly three years ago when I was told that Richard Youd died in a car accident. And more than twenty years ago, William Hall in a boating accident.

Mindful that a child is always and forever a child to his parents and sometimes in the minds of others who watched him grow up, and that the loss of a child is forever, and can destroy you again, first thing as you awaken, every morning for the rest of your life - - I'm thinking of opening collects in our liturgy for Burial of the Dead,

At the Burial of a Child

O God, whose beloved Son took children into his arms and blessed them: Give us grace to entrust Ryan to your never-failing care and love, and bring us all to your heavenly kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

Most merciful God, whose wisdom is beyond our understanding: Deal graciously with Ann and Ronnie in their grief. Surround them with your love, that they may not be overwhelmed by their loss, but have confidence in your goodness, and strength to meet the days to come; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Nothing can ease the pain of such loss; strength to meet the days to come is the thing, the saving thing, perhaps the only thing.  

Lord, have mercy.