Our second reading for the upcoming Sunday is from 1st Timothy, which seems too late in church organizing to be by Paul, who tradition says was martyred about 62 AD, may be a second century (100-150 AD?) laying down of rules for the by then heavily institutionalizing Christian church - - instructions for teaching and for ordaining bishops and deacons - - presbyters (priests) as the mid-level of ordination may not yet have become the practice (but Titus 1:5?), added later to assist bishops whose tasks had grown too heavy. Church orders for widows (senior widows and young widows -- to be registered, widows have to be over sixty and married only once, young widows should remarry and have children). Do not have women/wives in positions of church leadership (some Christian churches have long canonized this, some in the twentieth century; whether it's politically correct these days seems to depend on which "side" one is on, so-called conservative or so-called liberal, and pe...

What it is, a deep need to get my life back, and beginning anew with the Monday, its morning, out here at Breakfast Point because RBL are away on a week long Carnival cruise out of Miami and we are covering for them here with Malinda, all is still. At their huge round dining table in the Great Room, looking out past the back fence into the pine trees, a few broken from HMichael, yellow sky of eastern morning beyond them and past that, what? West Bay out there but unseen from here. Cup of hot black, glass of icy water, slice of Good Seeds bread, butter, length a friend brought from Tallahassee, of Bradley's sausage I've otherwise only tasted in December. Brings Christmas back. Pychologically, this reassignment back into Exile is putting Time and space between me and my birthday week such that maybe my life will reappear and I can get out of those other shoes, but that also were mine in the ghost of Time. Though with the sausage the celebration seems to continue, or resume...

“He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die”. I shall speak of death, and of the cross. You may be seated. Instead of Proper 19C for today, this morning we have the Collect & Bible readings for yesterday, September 14th, Holy Cross Day, and I like that Holy Cross Day is my birthday. Even though in my mind I’m 17, I turned 84, nearly the oldest person I know, but I’m not the only one getting older, so are you, it applies to you as well: “Time like an ever-rolling stream bears all of us” … along, and (my friends, life is short) all too soon … “away”. If you live as long as I (wishing you long years), you will experience that Time takes more and more of those around you, until you wonder “What’s up, why not me? how long, Lord?”  Classmates, friends and dear ones die all around us. Two weeks ago, Eleanor, age 83, a lifelong friend. This week a 26 year old beloved former student, and frankly the pain of it was so great, and I'd loved Richard so as a student...

Watch over thy children, O Lord, as our days increase; bless and  guide us wherever we may be. Strengthen us when we stand; comfort us when discouraged or sorrowful; raise us up when we fall; and in our hearts may thy peace which passes understanding abide all the days of our life; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. We have come here into the light of God, out of the darkness that has fallen upon our hearts and into our lives with the death of Richard Jennings Youd - - to honor Richard, and for love of Rachelle, and Kevin, and Ella Catherine, and each other.  I am here for Holy Nativity Episcopal Church and School where they call me Father Tom, and I opened with our birthday prayer, said so often for Richard and for many of you who are here. And also for myself: today is my birthday, waking this morning I am 84, older than almost anyone I know! And I find that the older we grow, the shorter life seems to have been - - and the more precious to us the lives ...

2019 0912 8:14:37 pm last evening: moon 98.8 waxing gibbous. May be, what? past full and waning by that same time tonight? IDK. There were years when I'd have known for sure, as moon phase and brightness could affect stargazing plans for my telescope. Reading, birthday week initially somewhat committed to reading, finished Trevor Noah, one of two books, last night; now reading further into Robb White's book; have two books ordered, "The Road Beyond Ruin" and "Educated: A Memoir" which, Track Package, should be in my post office box as I write. Recommended by my longtime close Navy friend, "Born A Crime" did not disappoint and might be on the book club list of anyone interested in truth. Trevor Noah is filled with wisdom born of life. His stories are well told, tense, frightening, funny, in a life that defines existential terror. Each chapter is complete, an essay, and before each chapter Noah has an observation that may somehow edge the r...

Sipping a cup of Lucky Goat "lucky 7 espresso" coffee fresh ground in my magic machine, from the bag of beans TJCC gave me last year on my birthday, that sat unopened through HMichael and its year, and also sipping  (yes I know it's neither lunch time nor five o'clock pm anywhere in America, suck it up!) a small glass of Saint Emilion Grand Cru, a French red Ray gave me for this year's birthday, and munching on a pecan pie cupcake Linda made from Judy's recipe, I am sitting here in life with heart and mind where no one should have to be, but where life has held me captive since the desolating news came Tuesday morning and where life will begin again fresh and anew every morning for the rest of life for Richard's parents. Pain that one can live into because there is no other way to honor him, and that one will by experience learn to know as a dark new companion, but that one can never get over. It's the way it is for a parent. Indeed, as a pri...

When the worst that can happen happens, the most feared and dreaded unimaginable, the darkest darkness that life can bring, we come together in the pain because it is too much to bear alone, we need each other in order even to go on. For parents especially, and I saw yesterday in a way that cut through to me personally, for a grandfather, namesake, anguish in eyes and on face, as though today he has lost his dream, his very rai·son d'ê·tre. I cannot imagine, do not want to imagine.  The life of a bright young man with so much promise for bearing lovingkindness in the world. Those years in the classroom when we talked about, and read books about, and watched films about, explored pointedly, discovered and acquired a consciousness of agapē, the New Testament Greek word  ἀγάπη that is the essence of Christian faith. My hope as their teacher, their last year or so of elementary school and particularly through their middle school years, to help them see, perceive, realize, unders...