On What Subject?

It’s not often 20F here, as is so on my back porch at this morning moment. And anyone who doubted Jimbo Fisher as I did when he took over from Bobby Bowden, had it wrong. But the coffee is hot.

And uncle Bubba doesn’t mind being wrong, he’s used to it.

The Gators? Next year in Jerusalem.

So what world problems can I solve this morning, or what wrongs can I right?

Pot, marijuana? In the new age, THAT the oppressive federal government crawl back under its rock and leave states rights alone.

Gay marriage? THAT the nice federal government enforce people’s right to live as they wish in this new age, and not let states be oppressive.

Gun control? THAT the mentally ill ... that we agree on who are the mentally ill and figure out how to monitor and control us.

American troops back to Iraq? THAT the president and members of Congress send their sons and daughters and grandsons and granddaughters first, frontline.

Children growing up and leaving home? Sunday next, Kristen returns to college and Papa will be a most unhappy camper. Monday she will turn 21: why is life set up so that our children grow up and out of our lives before we are ready, and we are bereft and they are happy? Why wasn't I consulted in the beginning of creation? Why have I reversed roles with Bubba sixty years ago? THAT we abolish colleges far from home, build bigger houses and, all together, live happily foreverafter. I'm ready, my house is big enough for three generations or four, and if needed I'll add still more refrigerators, sinks, dishwashers and ovens and buy everybody that pony I've been promising all these years.

Now I’ve put myself in an alphabet downer.

And the #@##$!!%$#@##$!@# coffee has gone cold.

Rats.