nonsense

 


Sean of the South is right (he nearly always is). A tomato sandwich is to be on white bread. If you see a man eating a tomato sandwich on whole wheat bread, you know you're looking at a communist. 

What I do not appreciate is when Sean rekindles and stirs up the Mayonnaise Wars. There's enough divisiveness as it is, and we don't need even more division among us Southerners. Sean says Duke's, I like Duke's mayo fine, it's a little more tart than Hellmann's mayonnaise, I like the lemony taste that I sense in Hellmann's. A friend likes Blue Plate first and Hellmann's second. I like Blue Plate mayo fine too, it doesn't seem to hold its shape as well as Hellmann's as it ages in the refrigerator, though. We count on a jar of mayo lasting almost a week.

This is the South, and about all we have left that we can go to war about without getting on the wrong side of politically correct issues like Woke is mayonnaise; and the Mayo War, sadly, is only fighting among ourselves, as my Yankee friends and colleagues over the years have never seemed to appreciate our tastes.

Mayonnaise on a hamburger, mayonnaise on a hot dog, mayonnaise to dip French fries in instead of tomato catsup ketchup.

Mayonnaise as the main ingredient in a chicken sandwich. Go easy on the chicken.

Glump of mayonnaise on top of baked salmon.

My brother likes mayonnaise on his mullet, and I'm okay with that except that I don't want nothing coming between mullet and my tastebuds.  

Ground beef. I like an enormous hamburger patty, at least half-pound of ground lean beef. Covered with a sheet of cellophane or wax paper, press it out very thin. Very thin indeed. On a very hot skillet, sear it five to ten seconds on one side, flip it over, sear it five to ten seconds on the other side, remove from skillet onto warm plate.

For beef, I'm with whoever put on Facebook that if a good veterinarian can't bring it back to life, it's overcooked. 

Quickly while it's still hot, sprinkle with genuine French Roquefort cheese, which is sharp and salty, and sort of mash the cheese into the beef patty. 

Onto a plate by itself. No hamburger bun, that's a distraction and when mashed out thin the beef patty no longer fits the bun anyway. Glop of Hellmann's or Blue Plate or Duke's mayonnaise on top, your choice. Smidgen of your favorite mustard on the side if you like, mine is Löwensenf - - it says "extra hot" but it's not. 

You need a butter knife and a salad fork, butter knife to smear a slight touch of mustard on about every other bite, salad fork because it's thinner and wider than a regular fork for sliding under the beef patty as you cut it into bites and fork it up.

For my taste, this hamburger patty recipe competes with any steak and may be my birthday dinner next month before cutting into the sour cream pound cake Linda has promised to bake for me.

I'm going to slice the pound cake across into several layers, spoon strawberry jam onto the bottom layer, spoon raspberry jam onto the next layer, dribble chocolate syrup thickly onto the next layer, and sort of iced on top with butter cream cheese frosting. 

God willing and Jesus don't come, nomesane?

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Plan for Saturday morning breakfast. One thick slice of a huge tomato that will never get properly ripe, so, cooked in a skillet like Linda does our Sunday morning breakfast tomato with our scrambled cheese eggs. Tomato slice on top of toasted extra thin Pepperidge Farm white bread from Grocery Outlet. Mayonnaise. Another mug of hot & black.

Toasting the bread to slow its being sopped up too juicy by the cooked tomato. 

If the bread gives me carbo coma BP drop so be it, it'll be a nice Saturday morning nap before we go to the grocery store to choose a cold treat for Children's Time at church tomorrow morning.

RSF&PTL

T  

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image: sad to report that our landmark burned out shrimp boat wreck has been cleared away, the job finished this week by a team of two people, a woman and a man, who worked steadily every day for about three weeks until they were done. The U S Coast Guard's marker post, red reflector by day and red flashing light by night, is still there. T