every day is a beautiful day
2:48 AM, Monday morning, Labor Day 2026, and I'm outside here on 7H porch, sitting at the little round table watching the lightning display as a thunderstorm passes west to east far to the south of me over the Gulf of Mexico. Blinding flashes cover the entire width of the horizon, and wind is building, but little thunder, almost silent, it's that distant.
Dreams, a dream, one of those repeating dreams that won't stop, and when I wake up momentarily and fall back to sleep it resumes and torments me. It's sheer nonsense, an absurdity: no violence, not a nightmare, I'm parked at Culver's with a carload of strangers, and managing my crispy chicken sandwich order carefully, two sandwiches (one free with my coupon) with lettuce, tomato, cheese and mayo, no sides, while they try to load their orders onto mine at my expense. Who the heck are these people, and why is this a dream? Repetitive, it ruined my sleep until I got up, made the walk, then out on the porch to watch the thunderstorm.
A persisting, continuous dream has become common with my sleep recently, bringing to mind my ICU psychosis fifteen years ago, January 2011, after my open heart surgery at Cleveland Clinic. That was an unceasing dream that moved back and forth Between a huge marching band continuously playing "Deutschlandlied" deafeningly loud, And me frantically trying to raise Alfred on my cellphone and warn him to turn Annie & Jennie around and return home before sailing into the deadly storm.
These psychotic dreams are always linked to something that had bothered me or was otherwise in my mind during the day. My horror at finding out that my ancestry was German immigrants instead of English as I had been told and "knew" all my life. My guilt at being here in Alfred's place, living Alfred's life, in Alfred's house, sleeping in Alfred's bedroom.
Yesterday I had thought to drive out to Culver's after church, but we went to Aldi's instead, hardly worth a wrenching, sleep-ruining dream.
What's the problem inside me? Maybe Mick Jagger observing that there's nothing good about growing older. Only 82, Mick has a lot to learn yet.
Remembering this morning seven days before turning 91. 90 is not in there, my favorite ages were 17, 42, and 75. Snapped by Amy, the photograph is me on the roof of the auditorium August 2010, the summer I supervised outside renovation work on the Cove School HNES building just before my 75th birthday. All the wood trim at the roofline was rotting to shabby and I wanted the building to look decent before we named it The Bill Lloyd Building, so he could be proud. I believe he was, I think Bill was proud. I will never stop missing him.
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Not so much for Christians, who tend to be obsessed with getting into heaven when we die, a Jewish thought is not about afterlife as such, but that we live on through the memories of those whom we loved and who loved us while we were here: clear, dark nights when I stare out beyond our solar system and the Milky Way into the far reaches of a conceivably endless Universe, it makes a lot of sense to me.
My hope is not for personal eternal life, but that we humans grow into the divine image that we were created to become, before we destroy what a Eucharistic Prayer calls "this fragile Earth, our island home."
Benedicite, omnia opera Domini.
O ALL ye Works of the Lord, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.O ye Angels of the Lord, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O YE Heavens, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Waters that be above the firmament, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O all ye Powers of the Lord, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Sun and Moon, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Stars of heaven, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Showers and Dew, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Winds of God, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Fire and Heat, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Winter and Summer, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Dews and Frosts, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Frost and Cold, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Ice and Snow, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Nights and Days, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Light and Darkness, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Lightnings and Clouds, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O LET the Earth bless the Lord: * yea, let it praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Mountains and Hills, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O all ye Green Things upon the earth, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Wells, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Seas and Floods, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Whales, and all that move in the waters, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O all ye Fowls of the air, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O all ye Beasts and Cattle, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Children of Men, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O LET Israel bless the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Priests of the Lord, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Servants of the Lord, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye Spirits and Souls of the Righteous, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
O ye holy and humble Men of heart, bless ye the Lord: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
LET us bless the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost: * praise him, and magnify him for ever.
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In a former age, we sang it during Sunday Morning Prayer, four-part Anglican Chant, a perfection and distinction that the Church let itself lose; a Time when Anglicanism was A Sound, a sound of worship.
For life and love,
RSF&PTL
T90