it's true for us

 

So, what am I doing here, sitting up on the edge of my hospital bed looking out the window into Sunday night as I wait for the next round of lasix to hit? 

For ONE, my lasix dose was at 6:30, and I've "been here before" with lasix intravenously, my memory is vivid, and I am not fool enough to think I'm going to get any sleep tonight. For TWO might be the fact that the hospital staff will bring in a med about ten o'clock, I think it's my - - - oh what the hell, I can't remember, I think it's my blood pressure med. Or maybe it's my statin, IDK.

For THREE, along with every amateur philosopher in life - - and IDK, maybe I published the blogpost I wrote about this last week or so, maybe I did not - - I'm thinking about life and why we are here. 

The "why" is pretty clear, Genesis 1:28 has it: "... be fruitful, and multiply ... ." If you're more into Darwin and his Origin of the Species, it's the same answer: we're here to reproduce, that's the nature of things. 

If you're of a philosophical mind trying to make more of us humans here on this speck, than a glance out into the some two trillion galaxies in the observable Universe warrants, you'll come up with something profound and deeply intellectual, but you won't have changed what is: that we are simply part of the nature of creation, which is to procreate.

So, do we matter at all, then? Individually and/or corporately? And if so, how and why? Maybe in Nature's greater scheme of things, we only matter to ourselves. We can tell in nature by observing where there appears to be caring and grief: a baby whale matters to its parent; a baby elephant matters not only to its parent, but to its whole tribe. Each of us humans matters to family, friends, and others. We are so important to our selves and each other that we cannot bear to be apart, so we image love and caring external to ourselves as meets our hopes and emotional needs to avoid and solve the fact that we cannot imagine our own personal nonexistence.

Which brings me to this. Judaism, on which I'm no expert, but which I love to observe, and have studied their scriptures, and have taught myself bits and pieces of their ancient language and writing, is not monolithic, everybody doesn't believe the same thing. In some experiences of Judaism, God is not a personal savior like most Christians image Jesus; rather, God's love is for the nation of Israel, God's mission is conceived of as to save Israel the nation in its role on Earth, it is not to save individual Jews into a heavenly afterlife as, again, some Christians see it. This is evident when reading the Jewish bible, our Old Testament. Read Judges, for example, that's what's happening in the cycle of creation, sin, judgment, repentance, redemption. It's about God and Israel. Israel the nation lives on, individual Israelites sleep with their fathers, it's the Nation that is saved to live on. 

Another facet of Judaism holds that, as to life after death, we go on living in the love and memories of those whom we leave behind. What happens to the generations way back, far after men's memories and love of forebears has forgotten them? It doesn't matter: it only matters to the living about those in their living memory. 

What about the general resurrection at the End of Days? Yeah, there's that too, but it visualizes the End of Days in terms of human perception and construct; it never envisioned an End of Days millions or billions of years hence; or that general resurrection would need to involve billions or trillions of people, it only visualizes those we can imagine, and what we can see as we look around us. 

What about Paul's images of the trumpet sounding and calling up the general resurrection of all dead, and the living (Paul says "we who are living," at least for a Time he expected it to happen in his lifetime) to meet Jesus in the clouds? Paul was a man of his Time: the other side of the clouds was the extent of creation, Earth and the overhead firmament with its stars and sun and moon.  

There are no answers except what we devise. The only solid answer to Why are we here?" is that we are here to be fruitful and multiply. We do not need to think up reasons for God's creation of us.

Pardon me for just looking at the male side, but what about my grandfathers, one of whom lived some months beyond his ninetieth birthday, who died fifty-one years ago and whom I still hold in my love? One of whom lived some months beyond his ninety-second birthday and died sixty-two years ago and whom I still hold in my love? What about me, as I age beyond one of my grandfather's lifeTime? I loved my grandfathers, but as my generation passes on, that love will also pass on. Each generation remembers and loves its grandfathers. The love and memories are always there, in the present; the individuals and names fade. And it's okay.

It's okay. It's the way of nature, of creation. Anything more is because we want more. 

It doesn't matter. And if it does matter, we can't change it.

Is it fatalistic? No, it's realistic in a creation where no amount of hope or belief makes anything true. 

I think about this a lot lately. So might you when it arrives to confront you.

T91