Time Stand Still

Then spake Joshua to the LORD in the day ... and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still ... and thou, Moon ... . And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed ... So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day. (Joshua 10:12-13, KJV)

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Shortly after I was ordained twenty-eight years ago a parishioner who wanted to talk invited me to have breakfast with her at a small diner in Camp Hill just around the corner from the church. Her health was sliding and her husband’s health, and she just wanted to unload. I listened and responded attentively and when she had talked herself out she said that I was very fortunate not having any worries. I told her, But I do: I’m worried about when Tassy is eighteen and goes off to college. Knowing Tass, she said, And how old is she? I said, She’s ten. She said, You’re starting to worry kind of early, aren’t you?

I wasn’t. Not at all. Tass is grown and moved on with her life long years now. It wasn’t at all too early for her doting daddy to start worrying. But Tass was saved from being eternally daddy’s baby when she was twenty and Kristen was born.

Here we go again, I knew this was coming. Eighteen years ago on chilly mornings like today I would bundle Kristen up snug in baby wrappings, warm her bottle, put her in her stroller, and set out for a brisk stroll downtown St. Andrews. Sometimes we’d walk up Beck past St. Andrews Elementary and west on 15th Street to Deer Avenue and round through that charming neighborhood. Be gone an hour or more. Part way along we would stop at a bench at St. Andrews Marina and I’d hold her and give her the bottle. Then stroll home. The lady in the blue house across the street (that’s the house that used to be on my lot here, before 1912-13), would sometimes be out and wave.

Kristin and Malinda live next door on Calhoun Avenue. My joy every morning is going out to see her off to school. She’s a senior at Bay Hi, planning to go off to college in the fall. Not long ago when I was standing in the street waving as Kristen drove off, the lady in the blue house said, She’s all grown up.

Joe and I exchange emails several times a week, most mornings actually. Recently I complained to him that everyone grew up around me and I didn’t change at all. That’s not about physical aging, it’s about emotional aging, where the heart is. I’m still the same person who every day rushed home from Navy school fifty-two years ago to hold Malinda, the baby girl I had wanted so dearly. Who watched for Linda to drive up to the NAS Coronado pier in that 1967 Thunderbird with the suicide doors! Who told Jody a bedtime story every night. Who pulled Tass on the sled snowy evenings in Columbus. Who took Kristen for walks on chilly winter mornings. It’s still me, I haven’t changed at all. Not in the least. All that love for all of them is still inside me. It’s the way of time life and love, isn’t it.

Tuesday morning Joe emailed me the lyrics of a song Time Stand Still by the Canadian group Rush. I listened on YouTube and the music is cacophonous (Greek: bad sound) to my ears. But the lyrics are just where I am.

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“Time Stand Still” by Rush

I turn my back to the wind
To catch my breath
Before I start off again.
Driven on without a moment to spend
To pass an evening with a drink and a friend

I let my skin get too thin
I'd like to pause
No matter what I pretend
Like some pilgrim
Who learns to transcend
Learns to live as if each step was the end

(Time stand still)
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
(Time stand still)
See more of the people and the places that surround me now
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away

I turn my face to the sun
Close my eyes
Let my defenses down
All those wounds that I can't get unwound

I let my past go too fast
No time to pause
If I could slow it all down
Like some captain, whose ship runs aground
I can wait until the tide comes around

(Time stand still)
I'm not looking back
But I want to look around me now
(Time stand still)
See more of the people and the places that surround me now
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each impression a little bit stronger
Freeze this motion a little bit longer
The innocence slips away
The innocence slips away...

Summer's going fast, nights growing colder
Children growing up, old friends growing older
Freeze this moment a little bit longer
Make each sensation a little bit stronger
Experience slips away
Experience slips away...
The innocence slips away

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All’s fair in love and war,

But Time won’t Stand Still,

I don’t know how Joshua and the Lord managed that.

As for me, I’m in +Time, a day of blessing.

May your day be a blessing too.

Tom+