life peace war

I know you think it's yours, and okay, I'll give you that, I'll give it to you, you can have it. You can have it now, and more welcome than you will realize until you get here. But I remember when it was mine, I remember when life was real and people were real and life seemed like One even though it never was. It was all illusion,

which was a song dancing in my head at the edge of my dreams when I woke up this morning, and I had all the tune but only some of the words, so had to Google it. It was Joni Mitchell, remember Joni? We were at war then too, and there were good guys and bad guys then too, and I knew I was on the right side, but it was illusion.

Did it ever occur to you that the bad guys think they are the good guys? Well, they do. I know that, because I've been on both sides and always thought of myself as one of the good guys. But Pete Seeger had it right all along.

Anyway, here's Joni's song that woke me up. There'll be other songs today, love songs, "Love divine, all loves excelling" and "O love, how deep, how broad, how high" but my mind may be humming with Joni while you sing them.

… Rows and flows of angel hair

And ice cream castles in the air

And feather canyons everywhere

Looked at clouds that way

… But now they only block the sun

They rain and they snow on everyone

So many things I would have done

But clouds got in my way

… I've looked at clouds from both sides now

From up and down and still somehow

It's cloud illusions I recall

I really don't know clouds at all

… Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels

The dizzy dancing way that you feel

As every fairy tale comes real

I've looked at love that way

… But now it's just another show

And you leave 'em laughing when you go

And if you care, don't let them know

Don't give yourself away

… I've looked at love from both sides now

From give and take and still somehow

It's love's illusions that I recall

I really don't know love

Really don't know love at all

… Tears and fears and feeling proud

To say, "I love you" right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds

I've looked at life that way

… Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange

And they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changed

Well something's lost, but something's gained

In living every day

… I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all

… It's life's illusions that I recall

I really don't know life

I really don't know life at all

Or I may hum along with Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn, "It's only make believe". Been watching television non-stop. It's all back. All these years I thought we were finally and permanently at peace with the folks I grew up with as enemies. But it was all illusion.

As I say, you can have it.