in Transition
Not only HNEC, my home parish, I myself am in Transition: the parish between clergy; I in Transition for the (count them) Time in my life from one focus and dedication to the next, but this time transitioning into a void. From which I must find my way out.
In 2008, the last Time that I thought this was happening, I prepared myself by attending and participating in Credo, an eight-day retreat for clergy who were aging into retirement (the mandatory age is 72). But then I answered a phone call and invitation to rejoin the staff of my home parish, and served there part-time but quite busily, from Spring 2009 until Spring 2024, where I now find myself with no vocational or avocational dedication or commitment outside myself.
At 88&c, I will NOT go on the bishop's Supply Priest roster - - I'm doing that one Time only, this coming Sunday, because there was no way I would've said No to a request from the bishop's office to help my own home parish that loved me and tolerated my eccentric, eclectic nonsense for so many years.
But I am transitioning as much to another life and Being as I did when, turning 18, I transitioned from childhood to University and personal independence; and again at 21, from University into the Navy, and again at 42 when I retired from the U S Navy and soon transitioned to theological seminary, ordination, and served forty years various churches in the parish priesthood, at 63 retiring from full-time to part-time parish ministry. But what? What now?
What? I don't have it sorted out. Maybe pick up my astronomy hobby again? I have a small telescope and I've ordered a more powerful binocular and a book on backyard astronomy for amateurs. For astronomy, 7H porch could only be fair, I give it a D+ or C- because the park next door has a lamppost light that shines brilliantly, yea unto blindingly, all night long. So, probably not back into galaxies or even the dim planets as I was years ago. I did that in Japan, in Northern Virginia, in Columbus, Ohio, and in Apalachicola. Not for the last 25 years though, but I'll see. Enthusiams wax and wane. If Astronomy fires back up I may order more capable equipment, but I'll see first.
Why didn't I start working on this ages ago, months ago? Actually I did, it wasn't urgent, but I planned the daily walks, now with my new red walker, a foldover PBJ sandwich and a bottle of water. Mainly I planned my retreat into the desert, my own Forty Days in the Wilderness. But the first week out, receiving a call to help out as Supply Priest next Sunday did a psychological stun, pause and reboot number on me, so I'm starting over
next Monday, June 17: up whenever; magic mug of hot & black, maybe a square of dark chocolate; read and blog if I want to until it's dawn out - - been in the habit of jotting my life down for more than a dozen years now such that I seem to need to either blog, journal or diary, so something. Write my thoughts whether I press Publish or not. Load up red convertible (my heavy duty red walker has a seat) and walk - - around the garden, or to the bayside boardwalk, or out the gate to the Park next door. Find a liminal place as MLP to settle into for an hour or so. Pause, sit, contemplate, read, stare out at the Bay. Doze? Let myself shift somewhere just beyond Chronos, into Kairos, the right Time, that is not yet Chaos.
It has occurred that this Transition could be into permanent Wilderness, desert. Walk. Sit. Read, meditate, contemplate. Write if/when I DWP. Stop for oysters, a tray of cold, salty ones. I might like that Wilderness very much indeed. Wilderness as the grand finale of my +Time.
But I'm wandering. My mind does that. It's already gone again.
RSF&PTL
T88&c
pics: Charlie Brown & Snoopy musing at sunset. JWST distant glimpse into the early Universe. On the wall dimly, my shadow at 7H porch rail.