Monday mentality!

Whether to wander into and ramble through a new post today, this morning - - ? - - ? - - lately my morning walk has taken me down to G and out the garage gate that opens into the pool area. Sign on the gate reads "Pool Tags Required" but I'm not going in the pool, I'm walking, and I didn't bring a pool tag. Owners wear a blue pool tag, others red. 

Sometimes across the pool area, out the west side gate that reads "Pool Tags Required" and on down the bayside boardwalk to one or the other ramp (yes, ramp, pushing my red convertible - - it's convertible because it's a safety device that serves both as a walker so I don't fall, and as a chair) up another ramp, through the enclosed "wind tunnel" where the west lobby is, the west mailroom, and the front door to the clubroom, out onto the higher level bayside boardwalk outside the clubroom, to one of the tables and sit down. 

Look out across StAndrewsBay into the Pass. Now and then a ship arriving or departing, usually a few boats, folks going out fishing or wherever; sometimes, as yesterday, a tug pushing a couple of barges. 

May have a sandwich or half, my breakfast, while I'm there, salmon or pimiento cheese or pbj, and a bottle of water. Today I think it'll be egg salad. Contemplate life: why are we here? We're here to propagate the species, same as the birds that are flitting around chirping at each other, I mean "be fruitful and multiply" is the charge, of both nature and the divinity. 

Is that the charge other places in the universe? 

Yesterday we decided to go to church online, joining the congregation at Holy Nativity Episcopal Church. ???

What to contemplate? People. Communities. Civilization. An anarchist who holds all government and most authority in contempt, yet I know that for anarchism to work most everyone needs to be committed to the general welfare, no selfishness, and it would never work with humans. Works among ants, nobody tells each ant what to do, each ant just does its job, performs its function; but it may be that ants are a higher species than humans, IDK. I'm not against organization, just authority that takes on power.

Reading this past weekend. In a publication I never heard of, The Walrus, an essay by Kate Neville. "Doing Nothing Has Never Been More Important" and I hit it at just the right Time of life, when I'm committing to idleness instead of busyness. I was busy all my alphabet life, in the Navy a workaholic, in the church still somewhat so in my own parishes as rector, minimally so when I retired into being a part-time priest associate helping the various priests in charge at Holy Nativity. 

Being a priest associate, a helper priest available to back up the rector as wanted or needed, was the best: collegial staff meetings, no office hours, preach on a schedule, do pastoral care as needed, no vestry meetings, no responsibilities for trying to make sure the parish was able to pay its bills, ... . It was better, as in good, better, best. Now can be best if I can get far enough out into this desert to contemplate myself long enough to realize that Neville is right and go with it. 

I do not need to be busy, I need to be content, at peace with myself, itself a struggle. Shedding the drive to be busy is key, nomesane? I've been responsible to Authority since I was nine years old, going on eighty years. Time to get off the horse, Bubba, and go sit down.

What? sit down, contemplate, scribble, walk. Eat, nap, read, sleep. My last seaduty in the Navy, I was responsible for IDK, twenty or thirty spaces, maybe it was more than that, I don't remember; most of them below decks, even a couple of voids against the skin of the ship, and while we were at sea I checked every space every night after supper without fail. Great exercise. Good self-discipline. 

Nowadays I have one designated space and I have so many things in it that the idea of getting it organized and keeping it neat and straight is as darkening to my spirit as was getting up the paperwork and preparing my income tax return all those years! But, no, I'll do it. It's just that I'm anarchic, not a neat and orderly person. Why? Well, I do know why, it's some sort of rebellion against doing what I expect of myself, much less what others expect or require of me. There's just that compartmented niche where I can be and do and suit myself, whatever I DWP. If you don't understand, it's simply because you're not One. 

Someone might say "Just Do It" - - maybe I'll try that. Self-discipline is essential for anarchism to work.

Or maybe not. IDK. 

RSF&PTL

T88&c